But deep commitments? That's another story.

The vast majority of people donating money to support or defeat Proposition 8 – the Nov. 4 ballot measure that would ban same-sex marriage in California – aren't like San Diego hotel owner Doug Manchester (he's for it) or Hollywood star Brad Pitt (he's against it).

They're regular people who decided, some for the first time, that an Election Day issue was important enough to warrant a donation, however small.

Take Carl Obeck, who has given $150 to defeat Proposition 8.

He's an Average Joe in many ways, but he's getting married Saturday to his male partner of six years, an event he considers a miracle.

“For a short period of time, we'll be mainstream,” said Obeck, 47, a San Marcos resident. “Our love will count.”

Anita Quillman, who said she is in her 60s, rarely gives money to campaigns, but she donated $100 in support of Proposition 8. The issue is that important to her, the Clairemont resident said.

Quillman said she has gay friends and said she is not anti-gay. “I just feel, if anything, we need to strengthen marriage. And I think this weakens it.”

Hundreds of people in San Diego County have donated to groups on both sides of Proposition 8, perhaps the most contentious ballot measure this year.

As of late yesterday, the California Secretary of State's Office reported that $21.4 million had been given statewide in support of the measure, while $26.8 million had been donated to defeat it.

Many who are giving money to defeat the proposition are gays and lesbians who say it's vital to protect the right they gained May 15, when the state Supreme Court overturned a 2000 vote in which 61 percent of Californians supported marriage being only between a man and a woman.

Many donors supporting Proposition 8 appear to be older, listing their occupations as retired.

Some see a generational difference, with younger people more accepting of same-sex marriage.

Ray Boettger, 86, gave $100 to back the measure. If gays and lesbians want to live together as couples, those unions should be called something else, the Escondido retiree said.

“It's that simple,” he said.

Others are supporting the measure because they are angry with the state Supreme Court.

San Diego attorney Bernadette Hilgeman, who declined to give her age, donated $100 in support of Proposition 8 because she believes the ruling ignored voters. “I fear for the health of our democracy when the will of the people can be overrun by a few activist judges,” she said.

Donors for and against the measure are an eclectic mix.

One donor opposed to the initiative listed his occupation as a Ramona ranch manager. A donor in support noted he's a fencing instructor.

Others include doctors, lawyers, computer programmers, Web producers, office managers, engineers, teachers, software developers, furniture designers and one “stay-at-home dad.”

Kristin Sacco, 33, of Kearny Mesa had never given money to a political cause before deciding to donate $100 to oppose Proposition 8. “I can't give a lot, but I give what I can,” said Sacco, deputy executive director of the San Diego/Hawaii Chapter of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

Sacco is heterosexual but said she grew up knowing many lesbians and gays. This proposition will directly affect their lives, she said.

Becky Sparks, 52, of Point Loma also is a first-time political donor. Adamant in her belief that marriage should be between a man and a woman, she gave $100 to support the measure.

“To be honest, I don't think I ever paid attention to a proposition before,” Sparks said.

Dan McNeill, CEO of the McNeill Group, which coaches corporate executives and managers, gave $100 in support of Proposition 8 because changing the definition of marriage is “too much of a cultural aberration for me.”

The Poway resident has a gay sister. He has gay friends. He has had gay co-workers. He is not against gays, McNeill said.

But gay couples cannot conceive children, said McNeill, 67. Traditional marriage was society's response to the ability to procreate, he said, and is meant to protect and nurture the children.

Michelle Frost, 52, disagrees. The La Mesa resident married longtime partner Kathy Quinn on Sept. 13 and said their love is as real as any other couple's.

Frost gave $100 to defeat Proposition 8 and asked wedding guests to donate to the cause in lieu of gifts.

“We've been together for 15 years,” Frost said. “We didn't need another toaster oven.”

Michael Stetz: (619) 293-1720; michael.stetz@uniontrib.com